


Addiction

by zeloswife104



Category: GOT7, Kpop - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, Smut, lapslock, selfharm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-20 17:17:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2436638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeloswife104/pseuds/zeloswife104
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>yugyeom had a crush on mark.<br/>yugyeom couldn't tell anyone about his feelings.<br/>yugyeom hated himself.<br/>yugyeom developed an addition.<br/>jinyeong had a crush on yugyeom.<br/>mark got into an accident.<br/>jinyeong helped yugyeom.<br/>yugyeom felt something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Addiction

the first day that yugyeom and mark met, the younger could feel the butterflies in his stomach. the brunette was just so cute and in some ways even sexy. training with him was heaven, getting put into a group with him was even better. they were called got7, a seven member korean boy band that wasn’t all korean. he enjoyed life with them for so long. when they debuted, he could remember holding onto mark’s hand as a few tears dripped down his face. he had completed his dream with the one he loved, even if he hadn’t told the older of his feelings.

how could he tell him his feelings? they were both guys and even worse they were in a group together. if he was rejected things would be noticeably awkward between them and if the fans didn’t notice, the other group members would. if he was accepted and they became a couple, the same would happen. people couldn’t ever find out if such a thing as mark and yugyeom being in a romantic relationship happened. it would mean hell for the both of them and he decided to do whatever he could to stop that from happening.

so he kept his feelings in. as they went through promotions for their first album, “got it?” he just acted as if they were close friends, which they were. when they started filming their second music video, “a,” things got a little more difficult. mark started getting more comfortable with him and, for the american, with comfort comes skin ship. they would hug a lot and the fans would like it, so they would hug more. they would spend a lot of time with each other, especially on camera, doing lots of skinship. mark would keep his arm around yugyeom while filming, “real got7,” and in one part he thought of something that would definitely make the igot7s happy.

it was a beautiful summer night with so many stars in the sky. there was a patch of green grass right off of the sidewalk that just seemed so inviting to mark. he walked over to it, his luscious pink lips pulled into a smile as he sat on the soft grass.

“don’t sit there, hyung, there’s so many bugs! you’re gonna get bit,” yugyeom told him, only to be ignored.

“come lay with me, yugyeom-ah~,” mark said, completely disregarding anything that the younger had said.

yugyeom gave in rather easily, lying next to the smaller guy on the grass that he knew was so infested with bugs. still, though, he lay next to him, cuddling up to him and lying his his head on his chest with one hand rested on his stomach. he enjoyed it, closing his eyes to memorize the heartbeat he could hear so clearly. the youngest was soaking it all in, the hand caressing his shoulder, the warmth of the older man, the- snap!

he opened his eyes, still smiling because he knew the sound was from a camera. now, though, the smile was fake. he realized that mark was only being like this for the camera. that if they were doing this because they were in a relationship they would actually be shunned rather than loved for it. that mark didn’t actually have any intention to cuddle with him ever again without the camera being faced at them.

the pains in his chest came back as he smiled for the camera. they tore at him from the inside when the camera was turned off and mark sat up, pushing him gently off to the side. they’re the same pains that he feels every day and every night. every time he takes a shower where he just cries, sometimes focussing too much on his sorrow and forgetting to even wash his hair. every time he sneaks out of his bedroom at night to sit in the bathroom and cry.

that night at about 3:30 in the morning, he snuck out of his room again. this time he thought he’d try a different form of venting, maybe it would hurt more than just sobbing, but maybe it would help more as well. before he went into the bathroom and locked the door, he walked into the kitchen to grab a knife. he quietly went through all of the knives until he found the sharpest one, the one that would break skin easiest. he took it and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind him, and sat down on the toilet. since he always wore long sleeves, it wouldn’t be a problem if his arm got a little scratched up, would it? no, he didn’t think so.

with a shaky hand, he brought the knife up to the underside of his left arm. as the cold metal hit his warm skin, the tears began to flow out of his eyes in little rivers, dripping down and mixing with the red blood that pooled up as he cut his soft flesh. red soon dripped down his arm as he clenched his fist tight, breathing heavily as the blood made like his tears and fell to the floor. his breaths were uneven as he took some toilet paper and got it slightly wet in the sink so that he could clean his mess. a few more tears fell as he wiped the blood from his arm and tossed the red toilet paper into the toilet, but he forced himself to stop as he wet another bit of toilet paper to clean up the floor. he didn’t want someone to wake up and see that he had obviously been crying.

every night after that, he cut again. and again. and again. sometimes he would reopen his old cuts that began to heal because he would run out of room on his arm. it became an addiction, a form of venting that really helped and let him somewhat enjoy the time that he spent with mark again. there was always that fear of his bandmates seeing his scars and sometimes they questioned why he wouldn’t change with them anymore, but he just told them he would rather change alone and they respected that. he made personal requests to their stylists to only give him long sleeves and when they asked why, he would just say he thought they looked good on him and they would agree and go on with it.

it had been a few months since he had gotten addicted to self harming. it was only 2:00, but he was eager. he went in the kitchen and found that same knife that he always used; it cut so smoothly. he brought it into the bathroom and readied himself, taking deep breaths before he let the blade slice open the sensitive flesh of his wrist. he still cried every time he cut, it was a part of the routine. he wasn’t sure if he was crying because of the pain of the cut or the pain in his heart, but he didn’t really care anymore.

suddenly, he heard footsteps in the hallway coming toward the bathroom. his wet eyes opened wide as he panicked, taking the knife in his left hand and pulling it behind his back, smearing blood onto the back of his shirt as the door opened and he wiped his nose.

“oh, yugyeom-ah,” mark said, sleep filling both his voice and his eyes.

“oh, h-hyung,” he replied, forcing a smile to his face. mark squinted at him and stepped forward, “are you crying?”

“n-no, of course not,” the youngest forced out a laugh.

“you’re hiding something behind your back, too,” he continued walking closer to him until they were only inches apart.

he looked up into the younger’s sad eyes, “what’s going on, yugyeom-ah?”

he hadn’t realized that tears were yet again falling from his eyes until he saw one drip onto the older’s cheek, but he didn’t even wipe it off. he just looked up at him, a worried gaze upon the youngers face.

“it’s… it’s nothing i can’t handle, hyung. go,” he bit his lip as the tears trailed down his face quicker, “just go back to bed.”

“yugyeom-ah…” there was a hint of pain in the redhead’s voice as he reached for the younger’s left arm.

yugyeom dropped his head and just sobbed, weakly letting mark pull his arm from behind his back to see the multitude of cuts and scratches and the knife that he did it all with. mark looked up at him, tears forming in his own eyes at the sight.

“why..?” mark asked, a single tear sliding down his cheek.

“i can’t tell you… please don’t tell the others…” the youngest choked out through sobs.

mark couldn’t think to do anything but just hug him. he simply wrapped his arms around him and cried with him, not caring if blood got on his clothes because all he wanted to do at that moment was to make his close friend stop crying enough to tell him what was bothering him.

“i’m not gonna tell anyone else,” he said softly into the other’s ear as he held him close, “just tell me why.”

“hyung, i,” he choked on his sobs and continued with his voice cracking, “i can’t tell you. it’s because i can’t tell you.”

he tried to explain. “shh…” mark rubbed the younger’s back in an attempt to calm him.

for almost an hour, the two of them just stood in the middle of the bathroom, yugyeom crying in mark’s arms until the knife fell to the ground and he was left only shaking rather than crying, his face stained with dry tears. the older picked up the knife, carrying it with the hand opposite of the one he used to drag yugyeom into the kitchen. he brought the blonde over to the table so that he would sit down and calm himself further while mark washed the knife.

“turn around,” he said to yugyeom, who looked confused but did as he was told.

mark took all of the knives and hid them somewhere else in the kitchen where he knew yugyeom would never look, then walked over to him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. yugyeom looked at him, a soft smile appearing on his face, “you hid them, didn’t you?”

mark nodded, “it’s for your own good.”

“thank you,” he said, “but i still can’t tell you why,” he said, the smile leaving his face agai

n. mark held up a finger as if telling him to wait a moment before he walked over to one of the cabinets in the dark kitchen and took out a glass, filled it with water, and brought it back to the younger.

“you cried a lot, drink some.”

yugyeom did as he was told, his mouth was rather dry after all, then muttered under his breath as he set the empty glass back on the table, “this is why…”

“what was that?” mark asked, unsure of what the other had said.

he looked at the older’s concerned yet tired face, debating on whether or not he should just say it.

“i said ‘this is why.’”

“‘this’?”

“yes,” he gave in to the cute, confused look on his face, “you being you. the feelings you give me. they’re good, don’t worry, don’t feel guilty, it’s just…” he let out a deep sigh and looked straight ahead at what he thought was the refrigerator, but wasn’t quite sure with how dark it was.

“i don’t like myself for feeling what I feel. i know that it’s not right and that i can’t let anyone know how i feel, so i just cry and cut in order to feel better. it works, too. i’ve been able to smile without faking it and, even though i still don’t like myself, i can live with myself.”

mark stared at him as he tried to process what he was just told. “what.. exactly what are the feelings that i make you feel?” he asked, trying to make sense of it all.

“i just said that i can’t let anyone know.”

“do you like me?” mark asked, his tone much more serious than it was only a few moments before. yugyeom stayed silent, unable to answer.

his silence was enough of an answer for mark, so he let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair.

“i get it.”

“you get it?” yugyeom repeated.

“yeah. but, you know, it’s okay. i don’t care. you can’t help it if that’s just who you’re into. don’t beat yourself up about it,” mark said, smiling at nothing.

“but.. what if someone else finds out? i can’t let anyone know…” yugyeom felt tears stinging at the back of his eyes, wanting to come back out.

“look, i’m not gonna lie to you. i’m straight, i like girls. i’m not gonna try to be with you to make you feel better, but i will tell you that it’s totally fine for you to like me. it’s totally fine for you to like other guys. if that’s you, that’s you and i completely respect that and so would any one of our bandmates and your family members because they love you for who you are already. your sexuality doesn’t matter. and if you feel like you want to cut again, because trust me, i have had friends go down this path before and i know how addicting it can be, just come to me. tell me you need to talk alone and i’ll listen to anything you need to say. if it’s about me, then sobeit, i’ll still listen. the only thing that’ll change between us now is that i’m now willing to get up in the middle of the night to talk to you whenever you need it. yugyeom - yugyeom, are you crying again?”

yugyeom wiped his tears and sniffled a little bit before wrapping his arms around the older.

“thank you, hyung. really, thank you. i can’t say it enough,” he said with a cracking voice, “thank you.”

mark smiled and returned the hug. when they released he let out a sigh.

“yugyeom, why don’t you head back to bed? just change out of that shirt first, i’ll change mine too, wash them and clean up the bathroom for you. make sure you wash those cuts, though, so they don’t get infected.”

yugyeom smiled, “you’re a really great hyung. i’ll be right back with my shirt for you,” he turned around to walk away, but stopped and looked back to add one more thing, “thank you, hyung.”

* * *

 

* * *

 

jinyeong enjoys teasing yugyeom so much. he’s been happier since he started opening up to mark all the time and jinyeong noticed. since he was happier, he was less likely to snap on him and more likely to let out that laugh that jinyeong enjoyed so much. that laugh where his eyes started out as little crescents but ended up shutting completely because he laughed so hard. his laugh where his deepening voice became so high pitched that you could mistake him for a girl. jinyeong liked seeing him smiling more often, he liked when yugyeom went out of his way to mess with him because he did the same to him. he liked yugyeom and that was no secret. he thought it was pretty obvious, so he figured, why not tell him?

“yugyeom-ah, come over here for a second,” he said as he stood up.

they were taking a break from practicing, all seven of them seated on the floor of the dance studio with snacks sprawled out amongst them as they chatted amongst themselves.

yugyeom stood up and followed him out into the hallway, “what is it, hyung?” he asked as he flung an arm around his shoulders.

“yugyeom-ah,” he smiled sheepishly at the ground as he played with his fingers, getting a little shy.

yugyeom looked around, trying to find hidden cameras because this was not how his hyung usually acted, “uh, what?”

jinyeong noticed what he was doing and stopped himself, mentally slapping himself in the face for looking like a teenage girl talking to her love interest even if it was just a moment, and manned up a bit.

he cleared his throat, “yugyeom-ah, there’s something i have to tell you. i thought it was pretty obvious, but even if it’s not and you don’t want to accept it, nothing will change between us, alright?”

yugyeom blinked a couple times, not knowing what to expect, and nodded, “what is it, hyung?”

“i might be just a little bit gay?” he said, more like a question than a confession.

“oh, well I don’t care if you’re gay or straight, hyung. i’m gay, too. don’t tell anyone, though, the only person i told was mark and that was kind of an accident,” he chuckled nervously to himself as he scratched the back of his neck.

“that wasn’t all of it, though,” he said, looking down.

yugyeom caught on to this awkward atmosphere rather quickly, “do you like someone or something?”

jinyeong just nodded, suddenly realizing that this whole confessing thing was much harder than he thought it would be and yugyeom may be young, but he’s not stupid.

“you like me?” he asked, pointing at himself.

jinyeong lifted his head back up, biting his lip before responding, “is that a bad thing?”

yugyeom looked at him blankly, “well, no but…” he blinked a few times before turning his head and looking at the ground, “i don’t think i like you back?”

“you don’t think you do?” jinyeong asked, confusion clearly written on his own face as well.

“i mean, i like someone else, i know that, but i don’t know how i feel about you. i mean i like you, you’re a good hyung and you’re really fun and cute but… i don’t know if i like you like you like me,” the youngest explained.

jinyeong nodded his head as he listened.

"so, does that mean i might have a chance in the future? you know, if the person you like doesn’t like you back?” he asked, hope apparent in his voice.

“he doesn’t like me back,” he said, finally bringing his gaze back upon the one whom he was speaking with, “but i might give you a chance at some point in time.”

jinyeong let a small smile spread across his face as he bit his lip, “that works.”

yugyeom smiled at him and put his arm back around his shoulder, “let’s go back and eat before we finish up practice.”

* * *

 

 the manager swerved the car, trying to avoid what was right in front of them. a car in the wrong lane being driven by a drunk man heading straight for got7’s van. it was inevitable, they were going to be hit. he used one hand to cover his own face and the other to reach for mark who was sitting in the passenger seat next to him asleep. when the drunken driver got out of his car to see if the people in the van were alright, he found the driver unconscious and the boy who was already sleeping more soundly asleep than ever. the other six boys in the back, however, were moaning and groaning, making sure that each other were okay. the drunken man dialled 119 as he helped the six out of the car, but one refused to leave without the man in the passenger seat.

“mark,” he shook him from behind, “mark, wake up,” yugyeom choked out, “mark…”

“he’s not gonna wake up, kid,” the man said, matter of factly as if he wasn’t the one who caused the whole incident.

“you shut up!” he yelled, louder than anyone in the group had ever heard him yell before and went back to shaking mark, “mark, wake up.. mark… mark, wake up! mark!”

jinyeong crawled back into the van and put an arm around yugyeom, “yugyeom-ah, let’s wait for an ambulance,” he said as he tried to pull him out.

the youngest threw him off of him furiously, “no! i’m not leaving without mark!” and he went back to shaking the unconscious man, “mark, hyung, wake up, we have to go, wake up, mark wake…” he stopped and put a hand over his mouth as he tried not to sob, “don’t be dead, hyung, you can’t die, you’re so young,” he said through his hand, “hyung, you can’t…” yugyeom dropped his hands to his sides and dropped his head as the tears flowed out and stared sobbing loudly.

jinyeong pulled him into an unwanted hug, holding him close to his chest as some of his own tears spilled over.

“shh, it’s gonna be okay,” he quietly said to the crying teen in his arms as the rest watched, some shedding tears of their own.

sirens could be heard coming close, so jinyeong pulled yugyeom out so that there would be room for the paramedics to help mark and their manager.

* * *

 

at the hospital, they checked up on all 7 members and the manager, even if they weren’t hurt very much just to be sure that everyone was okay. bambam was fine, a few cuts and scrapes from glass on his arms but nothing serious, jaebum had a slight concussion, jinyeong was completely fine, the manager only passed out from shock and needed to wear a neck brace for the next week, jackson and youngjae were both left completely unharmed since they were sitting in the last row of seats but mark… mark was in a coma. tests showed that there hadn’t been too much trauma to the brain since he was asleep at the time of the accident, but things such as memory loss could occur when he woke up. if he woke up.

he wasn’t dead, though, and as far as the doctors knew, he wasn’t brain dead either and the chances of him waking up within a week were at about 70% with the damage that was done. 20% said 2 weeks. 5% said a month. 3% said a year. 2% said never.

as the doctor explained the likelihood of everything, yugyeom felt the tears dripping down his face. as he felt the tears dripping down his face, yugyeom felt soft fingers wiping them away. he looked over to see who they belonged to and wasn’t surprised when he saw a concerned looking jinyeong staring back at him. he wasn’t very used to seeking comfort in anyone besides mark, so he stood for a moment, listening to the doctor’s words just staring, but once he heard the words, “possibility that he will never wake up,” he shuffled over to jinyeong and leaned his head on his shoulders. the older wrapped his arms around him, doing his best to comfort him until he said that he wanted to go visit mark.

* * *

 

yugyeom let the door close slowly behind him as he walked up to mark’s hospital bed. he felt his knees go weak. he reached for his seemingly lifeless hand and entwined their fingers as he sat in the cold, hard plastic chair next to him.

“mark hyung,” he started as he observed the peacefully injured man he was speaking to, “i have a problem and i think you know what it is.” tears began to flood his vision as he noted the scrapes on the redhead’s beautiful face, scarring by his luscious pink lips that he longed to see moving again and cuts near his eyes that were fluttered shut so nicely that it made yugyeom want to scream.

“hyung, i need you to wake up soon, hyung, i really do,” he said as he bit his lip, trying to keep from sobbing but failing, “jinyeong hyung likes me, did you know that?”

the tears were falling from his eyes, tickling his cheeks in a way that he just couldn’t enjoy so he wiped them away and grabbed back onto mark’s hand with both of his.

“i think he likes me a lot, but i don’t know what to do, hyung… i don’t know if i can get over you and just be with him, but he’s a really good friend and i don’t want to hurt him… i don’t even know if i can like him like that, but with only being friends with you, i’m lonely, and now without you even around i just…” he let his tears overtake him and started sobbing loudly. not long after jinyeong was able to hear sobbing from the hallway, he came in and wiped the tears from yugyeom’s face, leaning down in front of him so that his face was in clear view and smiled weakly at him.

“i talked to bambam and he’s okay with taking my room if you’re okay with switching roommates. i just wanted to keep watch over you, you know, make sure you’re okay until mark’s back home,” he explained, sincerity in his voice.

yugyeom sniffed and wiped his face with his sleeve before nodding, “maybe it’s a good idea that i room with you…”

jinyeong smiled and helped yugyeom up and out of the room, even if he kept looking back at mark’s seemingly lifeless body.

* * *

 

that night, neither of them could sleep. jinyeong wasn’t used to bambam’s bed, so he was tossing and turning all night, plus he was worrying about both mark and yugyeom. yugyeom just wanted to break down and cry, but mark wasn’t there for him to talk to. he thought about asking to climb in bed with jinyeong, thinking that just having someone right there could help a bit, but it was brushed out of his mind when the latter spoke.

“it’s mark, isn’t it?” he could hear through the darkness.

“what?” he replied, not knowing what he was talking about.

“you like mark, but he doesn’t like you back,” he said very quietly.

“oh,” yugyeom’s voice dropped to something no louder than a whisper, “yeah…”

jinyeong sat up in bed and looked across the room until he saw the slight glint of light hitting yugyeom’s eyes and directed his sight at him, “yugyeom-ah.”

“hm?”

“i think you need a hug,” he said, starting to uncover himself to get up and walk over to him.

“i think…” his voice cracked, “i think you’re right, hyung.”

as yugyeom sat up in his own bed, he felt two strong arms wrapping around him and a weight settling next to him on the mattress.

as tears crept back into the younger’s eyes, he asked, “can you sleep over here tonight?” and felt jinyeong nod in response.

the older was more than happy to sleep next to yugyeom for a night or two. he wondered if he would be a cuddler, especially with how upset he was at the time. he wondered if, even though it was truly a terrible thing, maybe mark’s accident could be the start of a relationship between the two. he wondered if he would get used to sleeping in yugyeom’s bed with him. he smiled when yugyeom laid down his head on his chest. he slept peacefully when yugyeom wrapped his arm around him.

* * *

 

after a week of mark being in a coma, yugyeom couldn’t quite handle his depression anymore. he visited the older every day, talked to him, cried with him, held his hand, and kissed his forehead before he left like his mother would do to him every night after she said goodnight to him. every night he went back to the dorm and asked jinyeong to sleep with him again, feeling comfort in having someone who cared so much about him next to him. that night, he felt no comfort at all in having jinyeong sleep with him.

once he was sure he was asleep, he got out of bed and walked into the kitchen feeling as lifeless as mark looked in that hospital bed. he needed to vent, he needed to be able to let some of his frustration, confusion, and sadness out and he didn’t trust jinyeong enough to talk to him about everything. just sleeping without words next to him was one thing, but opening up completely and spewing out the depressing thoughts that clouded his mind every day was completely different and he didn’t think he could trust anyone but mark tuan with those thoughts.

he pulled up his left sleeve as he searched the kitchen for wherever it was that mark hid the knives. drawer after drawer, he found nothing. tears of frustration clouded his vision as he scratched at his arm violently, trying to reopen some of the scars, trying to feel physical pain at the same level as he felt it emotionally. scratching wasn’t working, he couldn’t open the scars fast enough, it had been too long since they were carved into his skin. he pulled at his blonde locks and let out a soft sob, clenching his eyes tightly before he opened all of the cabinets he could think of, one by one, trying so hard to find a knife, even if it wasn’t as sharp as the rest, just something that he could use to cut. when he couldn’t find anything, he gave up and fell to the ground in the kitchen, scratching at his arm and sobbing louder than he wanted to. yugyeom bundled up the collar of his shirt and put it in his mouth, biting down on it hard as he sobbed and scratched at his arm until he could see the little red blood droplets forming on his skin. he scratched through those, getting blood under his nails but he didn’t care. he just kept scratching and scratching until he heard his name being called, barely above a whisper and just stopped.

jinyeong walked slowly towards the bloodied boy sitting on the floor in front of the sink and knelt down in front of him.

“yugyeom,” he repeated. the younger opened his mouth, dropping his shirt from the grasp of his teeth and reached to wipe his eyes, but jinyeong did it for him.

“yugyeom,” he said yet again, lowering his sight to the bloody arm dropped lifelessly on the younger’s lap.

the older bit his lip as he took in the sight of yugyeom during his mental breakdown and put on arm around his shoulder while taking his right wrist in his other hand, helping him stand up. yugyeom just watched jinyeong, the tears in his eyes seizing to fall any longer as they walked over to the bathroom. yugyeom stopped in front of the bathroom, tears creeping back into his eyes as he imagined himself in mark’s arms the night that he found him self harming and made him quit. jinyeong noticed that he stopped and just pushed him a bit until he budged and walked into the bathroom, tears falling yet again. he stood in front of him and sighed, his own eyes red from the sight of the one guy he has grown to love as much as he loved yugyeom like this, and wiped his tears yet again.

he turned around and started the water, “you know, yugyeom-ah, you could have just talked to me…” he said as he felt the water to make sure it wasn’t too hot nor too cold. he grabbed yugyeom’s right hand and put some soap on it, rubbing it all over, especially by his fingernails before putting it under the water that got hotter than he thought it was and pulled him back to adjust the temperature. “you know i’m always here for you,” he pulled his hand back under the water and rinsed off the soap and blood, “no matter what,” he said as he looked back up at him and pleaded, “just talk to me.”

yugyeom bit his lip, unsure of how to respond and just let him pull his arm under the water. it stung, but he didn’t make a sound. he felt like a young child who got caught doing something wrong by their parent and was too ashamed to say anything. jinyeong washed off his scratched up arm and grabbed the hand towel hanging next to the mirror to pat it dry and pull his sleeve down over it. he then stood behind yugyeom, his hands on his shoulders as he spoke.

“tell me why you did that, yugyeom-ah. for you, so you don’t keep it all in and do that again, tell me why you did it,” he said, seriousness clearer than day in his voice.

yugyeom just let his lip quiver for a moment before turning around fast and wrapping his arms around jinyeong’s thin waist and piling his face into the crook of his neck as he let the tears fall yet again. jinyeong was surprised, but held him close anyway, rubbing soothing circles into the small of his back as he cried.

“what if he dies?” he whispered into his neck, “what if mark dies and i don’t even get to repay him for all he’s done? i don’t even get to say goodbye? none of us get to say goodbye?” he moved so that his forehead was resting on jinyeong’s shoulder and he could talk easier, “what if we break up? got7, what if we’re finished because he’s gone?”

“that would never happen, yugyeom-ah,” he whispered in response, “we never know about mark until it happens, but that would never happen. we are got7, even if there’s only six of us. sure, we’d all be sad and we’d probably have a break from promotions for a while to recover from the loss, but we’d bounce back, yugyeom-ah, we’d make it through it no matter what. we’re a team and one loss is going to hurt us but it won’t stop us.”

yugyeom stayed silent for a moment before tightening his grip on jinyeong, “i’m frustrated, too..”

“why are you frustrated?” he asked, still rubbing circles in the small of his back.

“we don’t know when he’s gonna wake up, or if he’s gonna wake up, and then there’s…” he bit his lip and placed his chin in the crook of jinyeong’s neck.

“and then there’s what, yugyeom-ah?”

“you,” he said quietly, “i’m frustrated and confused because you’re so nice to me… you say you like me and you act like you like me and you’re so comfortable with me and now i’m getting more comfortable with you but i still have mark on my mind and i think i’m still in love with mark and i’m just so frustrated that,” he took hold of the back of the latter’s shirt in his fists, “that i can’t put a name to my feelings for you.”

jinyeong’s eyes widened and he pulled away for a second so that he could see yugyeom’s face clearly, “you… do you like me?” he asked quietly.

“i don’t know,” yugyeom responded, “that’s what frustrates me. it makes me so mad that i can’t even pinpoint what i’m feeling anymore,” he put his forehead back down on jinyeong’s shoulder, “i’m just so fucked up that i don’t even know what emotions i’m feeling anymore…”

“yugyeom, there is nothing at all wrong with you,” he said in a very stern tone as he continued rubbing circles in the small of his back again, “you’re just going through a lot and dealing with it the wrong way. don’t worry, though. i’m here to help you deal with it the right way,” he nuzzled his head comfortingly into yugyeom’s.

“please don’t tell the other’s, hyung… mark kept it a secret, i need you to keep it a secret, too… i don’t want anyone to know that i,” he paused for a second, “that i hurt myself. or that i’m gay. or that i like mark. or that i might like you. none of it, please, don’t tell anyone anything, i don’t know what i’d do if they all started looking at me differently.”

“yugyeom, i’d never tell anyone anything you didn’t want me to. let’s go back to bed, okay?” he offered and yugyeom nodded in response.

* * *

 

no one had the heart to wake up jinyeong and yugyeom the next morning. they were cuddled together so cutely and they all had a feeling that it would be one of the last nights that the two of them slept together, so they just let them be. it wasn’t until 12:30pm that jinyeong woke up, and of course he had to take in the sight of yugyeom sound asleep on his chest and also the sight of him starting to wake up on his own, crinkling his nose and eyes together because he didn’t want to let his eyelids open and licking his dry lips before pulling the hand that was sprawled across jinyeong’s midsection over to his eyes to rub them open. jinyeong smiled at the sight and yugyeom smiled back sleepily.

“you are the cutest thing i could possibly wake up to,” jinyeong commented, making the latter flustered.

“i’m not cute, i’m sexy,” he corrected as he stretched his arms and used the small bit of space on the mattress between the two of them to push himself up.

jinyeong chuckled, “whatever you say, sleepyhead,” he said as he pulled the covers off and stood up to stretch.

when they walked out of the bathroom, everyone else was already awake and smiling.

“why so happy?” yugyeom asked as he opened the fridge to search for his late breakfast.

“guess who woke up about two hours ago,” jaebum said with a smile.

yugyeom dropped the carton of milk that he had just pulled out of the fridge, luckily before he had opened it, “mark woke up?”

the other four all nodded with wide grins on their faces and jaebum continued, “we wanted to let you two sleep since you seemed so… comfortable,” jackson let out an obnoxiously loud laugh at that statement and jaebum chuckled to himself, “but you should eat and shower. we’re all gonna go see him and i know you probably want to see him more than anyone. you haven’t been the same since the accident.”

yugyeom smiled wider than anyone had ever seen him smile before, showing gums and all, and ran towards the bathroom, tapping jinyeong on the shoulder as he ran past him saying something about making some food for him while he showered that just made everyone smile. the sad puppy’s owner was back and he was ready to play.

* * *

 

when they got to the hospital room, yugyeom was the first to enter, jinyeong and the others following behind him. the look on the youngest’s face was of pure relief. he walked up to the bed without a word and mark’s eyes simply scanned everyone else but went straight to yugyeom the second he reached his bedside. when everyone realized the weird aura and the fact that no one was saying anything, they just sort of left the two to themselves. yugyeom was the first one to speak up.

“you’re alive,” he said, barely above a whisper.

mark nodded and smiled, “i’m alive and you didn’t find the knives while i was here, did you?” he asked, his smile fading into worry for the younger.

“i tried but…” he paused and took a seat in the uncomfortable chair at his bedside, “i couldn’t find them, and jinyeong hyung helped me.”

“jinyeong?” he asked, somewhat surprised.

“yeah, i was gonna tell you about him when we got home except, well, “ he looked at the floor, “you didn’t come home.”

“i’m sorry about that, yugyeom-ah…” the redhead apologized.

“it’s okay, he helped me. jinyeong hyung… he’s like me. he’s gay and, apparently, he likes me,” he explained.

“oh, really? so, are you two together now? do the other members know?” mark asked, thinking that yugyeom moved on from him.

“not exactly. i don’t even know how i feel about him, but he’s been taking care of me and sleeping in my room, in my bed actually, since the accident, but i still have feelings for you even if nothing’s ever going to happen between us,” he explained.

mark reached a hand out to grab yugyeom’s and smiled weakly at him, “we’ll figure it out.”

“we?” he asked, slight blush on his face at the older’s choice of words.

“yeah, we’ll figure it out. i’m not even sure how long i’ve been gone, honestly, but i’m back and i’m gonna help you even more than i did before. i left you all alone for… how long again?”

“it was a week last night, but i wasn’t completely alone, hyung, i had jinyeong hyung, it’s okay,” yugyeom tried to reason, not wanting mark, who wasn’t well yet, to feel bad.

mark dropped his head and sighed, then brought his gaze back to yugyeom, biting his lip.

“yugyeom-ah, i know i probably put you through hell for the past week. i know that you wouldn’t just willingly open up to jinyeong just because he likes you, i know you better than that. you probably didn’t let him help you until like last night or something, am i right?”

yugyeom nodded in response, looking away from the older’s gaze.

“i couldn’t be more sorry, even if i didn’t intentionally go comatose, i need to make it up to you,” he looked at the younger with apology in his eyes.

“no you don’t,” he said, wiping the single tear that made it out of his eyes before he continued, “hyung, you’re back, you’re awake, you’re not dead. that’s enough, you don’t have to do anything, just get better and that’s more than enough.”

“aye, are you crying again?” mark ruffled his straight blonde hair, “cut it out, you cry too much. you should be happy, i’m back!”

yugyeom let out a soft chuckle and smiled weakly at the bed stricken redhead, “you’re back,” he said quietly.

in that very moment, he had a stronger urge to kiss him than he ever had before, but he knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. he stood up and motioned at the window that he knew at least one of the others would be watching from for them to come back in, and sure enough it was jinyeong, watching and listening to it all. yugyeom bit his lip nervously and motioned for everyone to come back in. soon enough, got7 was all together in that small, cramped hospital room, jinyeong with his arm protectively over yugyeom’s shoulders as he stared at mark with this look on his face that spoke for him saying, “stay away, he’s mine.” mark noticed right away and only smiled at the sight. maybe jinyeong really was taking good care of the youngest while he was in the hospital.

* * *

 

throughout the course of the next three weeks, mark spent all of his time with yugyeom. he was released from the hospital and told to stay on bedrest at the dorm for eighteen days two days after he awoke. during those two days, yugyeom stayed in his hospital room for as long as the nurses would let him, and in those eighteen days mark requested that yugyeom room with him instead of jackson. no one protested. mark wanted to make up for lost time, wanted to make sure that yugyeom was happy even if it was just an act. yugyeom didn’t know whether it was an act or not when mark asked him to sleep in his bed with him, or when he insisted that yugyeom was really warm so he needed to cuddle to get warmer himself, or the countless times he complimented him while he was on bedrest, or when he started kissing his forehead at night before they went to sleep.

jinyeong thought that he had been mistaken, that it was a sure fact that mark liked yugyeom back, that the two of them were together and his chances of ever being with yugyeom were gone. he didn’t know what to think when yugyeom didn’t seem happy that exactly what he wanted to happen was happening. at first he thought, ‘well, maybe he has feelings for me now, but he didn’t want to turn him down since he’s liked him for a while,’ then he thought, ‘no, he didn’t even know what he felt for me, but he was sure he was in love with him,’ and he was stumped again.

after those eighteen days were up, mark was to start practicing with the group again. minor stuff only at first, no flips or anything, just simple dancing and working out to regain some of his strength, but after a while he was back to the normal routine. jackson was sleeping in his own room again, yugyeom was sharing his room with jinyeong still because bambam didn’t want to give up his own bedroom, but mark was still being more friendly than usual with yugyeom and he was confused. one night, before everyone went to sleep, yugyeom couldn’t handle not understanding anymore and walked into mark’s room where they were talking about something in english and laughing.

“mark hyung,” he said shyly as he stood in the doorway.

“oh, what is it yugyeom-ah?” he asked, immediately cutting off his conversation with jackson.

“i need to talk to you alone,” he said, looking down at the ground.

jackson took this as an indication that he should leave, and thought it was just the right time to go take his nightly shower.

“come sit,” mark said as he tapped the bed next to him, a smile on his face.

yugyeom sat with him, but still didn’t look at him, “hyung, i’m confused.”

“about what?” he asked, maneuvering his head all around yugyeom until his eyes were in sight.

yugyeom looked him in the eye, letting him keep the awkward position he was in because he really didn’t want to turn and have him right next to his face, “you.”

“okay, yugyeom, are you gonna turn or am i gonna sit here hurting my neck in order to look at you while we’re talking?”

yugyeom’s lips turned slightly upward into a small smile as he turned to look at him comfortably.

“okay, thank you,” he chuckled, “so, why are you confused about me?” he asked.

“well, you’ve been acting different… i mean, i know you’re straight, but you’ve been treating me different, and i don’t even know what we are anymore and i’m just so confused, especially when you kiss my forehead because, i mean it’s not like i don’t enjoy it, but i don’t know what it means and i’m just so confused, hyung,” he confessed.

mark ran a hand through his red locks and looked up at the ceiling for a moment with a sigh before bringing his gaze back to the latter, “i wanted to make things up to you for putting you through so much pain.”

yugyeom nodded, “so, none of it was real…”

mark bit his lip and nodded as well, “i just wanted to make you feel special for a while…”

yugyeom stayed silent for a second and shook his head before standing up and closing the door so no one would be able to hear.

“did you really try to make up for putting me through pain by putting me through more pain?” he asked, standing in front of the bed with his hair covering his eyes.

“yugyeom-ah, i didn’t-”

“you didn’t what? you didn’t _think_? you just thought, ‘oh, let me just make yugyeom think that he has a chance with me when he knows he doesn’t so that i can just break his heart and tell him it was all fake in the end’? you just thought that it would be such a great idea to treat me like i’m your boyfriend when you’re straight and you told me before that you were straight, confusing me even more than i already was? did you even consider how i would feel about this? did you even stop to think that maybe, just maybe, i was starting to get over you and you just made me fall even harder for you just so you could make me feel special because of something i told you that you didn’t have to make up for me? something that jinyeong hyung help me deal with before you even woke up?”

there were tears streaming down yugyeom’s face as he spoke. he was breathing heavily by the end of it, his voice cracking the entire time.

“yugyeom-ah… i’m sorry, i didn’t think about that…”

mark’s sight was beginning to cloud as he thought of the possibility that he just lost his closest friend. he leaned forward, dropping his head into his hands.

“forget it, hyung. and next time when i tell you not to do something, don’t do it,” his words had a more fierce bite to it than any that mark had ever heard him speak and he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

he walked into his and jinyeong’s room where jinyeong sat on his own bed on his laptop. he looked up as soon as he heard the door slam and when he saw the tears on yugyeom’s face, he immediately closed his laptop and set it down next to him, following the younger over to his bed and sitting down next to him.

“yugyeom-ah, what’s wrong? what happened?” he asked with the voice of a concerned hyung.

“he thought it was just a game,” he said through sobs and punched the bed, “he thought it was all a fucking game.”

“hey, hey, hey,” jinyeong placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, “what did he think was a game?”

“me. he thought i was a game. that i didn’t have feelings, that he could just confuse me like that and it would all be okay. that he could just treat me like he likes me then tell me he doesn’t,” there was such sting in his words, jinyeong was glad he wasn’t mark.

“he wasn’t thinking, yugyeom-ah,” his voice was calming and had an odd effect on the latter, “i know it hurts, but hurt goes away eventually.”

yugyeom tried to calm his breathing for a moment and looked at his caring hyung as he reached up to wipe his tears but ended up just grabbing jinyeong’s wrist that got there first, gently drying his face with the sleeve of his shirt as he stared lovingly into his eyes.

“you always do this…” yugyeom pointed out, his face slightly flushed as he looked into his brown orbs.

“well, you should always have someone there to wipe your tears for you when you cry. it let’s you know that you’re not alone,” he said with a smile.

“i’m not alone…” the younger repeated, his face suddenly calming.

at that moment mark thought that he should check on yugyeom, he should go fix things and make things right. he stopped in the doorway, though, seeing jinyeong with his face in his hands and the way they were staring at each other.

“of course you’re not alone. whether you like it or not, i’m here and i’m always going to be here,” jinyeong replied, his voice low and calming.

yugyeom wasn’t shaking with anger anymore and his face was dry. he suddenly felt a comfort that he never felt with mark before, a comfort that mark never tried to give him. jinyeong might have just been caught in the moment, but yugyeom didn’t stop him when he brought his face forward. he even closed his eyes when their lips touched. he even kissed back, even if it was a little sloppy because it was his first real kiss. he even gripped his shirt and pulled him back for another when jinyeong released. he even felt completely content when jinyeong deepened the kiss. he even felt happy when jinyeong told him he loved him after he broke that kiss. at that sight, mark smiled and closed their bedroom door for them so that the others wouldn’t see and went back to his room thinking that maybe, just maybe, his hospitalization and all of the pain he caused yugyeom was for a good cause.

* * *

* * *

 

got7 had been promoting their third album nonstop since the day it was released, not getting a single day off and even performing on holidays rather than seeing their families, so at the end of promotions, jeongwook thought that they deserved a week to spend with their families. as soon as they were informed of this, they called their parents and told them that they would be coming home right away, jeongwook had even reserved plane tickets for bambam, mark, and jackson the next morning. when jinyeong and yugyeom heard the news, they had the same thought. alone time. as everyone was packing their bags, they found that the manager had already left and everyone else would be gone by the next morning. jinyeong closed their bedroom door and tackled yugyeom playfully onto his own bed, smiles apparent on both of their faces.

“don’t go until friday,” the older said before placing a chaste kiss on his pink cheek, “then take me with you. we should tell our families about us, we can stay the night at your parents’ house friday then mine on saturday and just be here with the whole dorm to ourselves all week.”

the younger’s smile was wide and genuine as he nodded, “let’s tell them.”

jinyeong kissed yugyeom’s tender pink lips, smiling into them simply because he could. everything that he had wanted for so long, he had. yugyeom was his boyfriend of five months. he could kiss him all he wanted, so long as the rest of the group wasn’t around, tell him he loved him, hear him say he loved him back. now, they had five days of being alone together, being able to kiss and cuddle freely. they could “watch” movies in the livingroom while ~~making out~~ cuddling together. yugyeom could wear short sleeves around the house instead of sweating because it’s too hot to wear long sleeves just because of a few scars that are healing anyway. then, they’d have the weekend to be open for the first time about their relationship, to be able to act like they’re together with actually people around and completely aware of it. jinyeong rested his forehead on yugyeom’s, still playfully pinning him down on his bed, and looked into his eyes that were shaped like crescents because he was smiling so big.

“no matter what happens when we tell them, we won’t let it bug us and if it gets to you you’ll tell me about it right away, right?” he said quietly and watched the smiling boy beneath him nod.

one last time before they started actually packing in case someone came in, jinyeong took the younger’s lips into his own, nibbling lightly on his bottom lip because throughout the past five months he realized that lip biting makes yugyeom’s face turn a bright shade of pink that looks absolutely adorable on him, even when he doesn’t even realize that he’s blushing. he slipped his tongue into his mouth for just a second, yugyeom enjoying it more than jinyeong realized, before breaking the kiss completely and releasing him from the pin. he got up and walked over to his bed, pulling his suitcase out from underneath it.

yugyeom sat up, “why’d you stop?” he asked innocently.

jinyeong leaned on his bed and smiled, “we should save that for when the others are gone,” he said with a playful wink before walking over to his dresser to look for clothes.

yugyeom’s face flushed at his wink and he looked down at the ground, playing with his fingers as he pouted, “i wanted to keep going…” jinyeong saw him out of the corner of his eye and walked back over to him, taking his hands in his own so that he would look up at him, “you are the cutest thing i have ever seen, but i don’t want the others to hear you when i-”

“hyung!” yugyeom’s face turned a bright shade of pink as he pulled his hands away, “i meant that i wanted to keep kissing you, that’s it…” he said shyly.

jinyeong smiled and kissed his forehead to get his attention again, “i wouldn’t do any more unless you wanted to, yugyeom-ah.”

yugyeom silently stared up at him for a moment before deciding what he wanted to say, “well, we’ve been together for five months already… maybe soon?”

“you’re eighteen, if you’re not ready for something that big I understand,” he said, warmth in his voice.

“i’m eighteen, hyung, i’m not a baby,” he said as he stood up and smiled down at him before giving him a peck on the lips and continuing, “i’m a teenager with hormones. you’re my boyfriend who is three years older than me,” he moved his hands to the older’s abdomen and smirked, “has an amazing body,” he brought his mouth over to his ear and whispered, “and a voice that can make me melt, just like this.”

and with that, their door was opened by jaebum.

“yugyeom-ah, mark wants to talk to you,” he said, not taking notice of their positions.

“oh, okay,” he replied and tapped jinyeong’s shoulder before walking away with a sly smile on his face.

jinyeong bit his lip and chuckled to himself, much more excited than he should be for the upcoming week, and went back to packing his bag. this monday would definitely not be as bad as most.

* * *

 

“what’s up, hyung?” he asked as he came into mark’s room, sitting on his bed next to his suitcase.

“you gonna miss me?” he asked in reply as he folded up a t-shirt.

yugyeom acted like he actually had to think about it for a second before saying, “no, not really.”

mark gasped, “i am offended!” he said sarcastically and laughed for a moment before leaning close to the latter and whispering so that jackson couldn’t hear him, “plans with jinyeong?”

yugyeom nodded, biting his lip, “we’re gonna tell our parents. mine friday, his saturday,” he said quietly.

mark nodded, an impressed look on his face, “and the rest of the week?”

yugyeom blushed and looked around the familiar bedroom, “just… alone time.”

“ayyyy,” he teased, “use protection~”

“hey!” jackson butted in, “why is the maknae over here blushing like an idiot? do you have a girlfriend back home? you’re gonna go see your girlfriend~ yugyeomie has a girlfriend! yugyeomie has a girlfriend!” he yelled, running through the dorm.

yugyeom bolted up and chased after him, “no i don’t! i don’t have a girlfriend!”

mark looked out of the door and chuckled to himself when he thought he heard the younger saying, “you’re gonna die tonight.”

* * *

 

the next day couldn’t come fast enough for any of them. bambam, mark, jaebum, jackson, and youngjae were out of the door as soon as they had breakfast in their stomachs monday morning and jinyeong and yugyeom were calmly sitting on the couch when they all left. as soon as the last member, jackson, closed the door, they looked away from the tv and right at each other. yugyeom scooted slowly towards his boyfriend until he was next to him and simply laid his head on his shoulder, smiles apparent on both of their faces.

“you’re adorable,” jinyeong said and yugyeom picked his head up.

“shut up,” he said with a pout.

“take off your shirt,” he demanded in reply.

“what?” jinyeong took off his own shirt and threw it on the floor next to the couch before saying, “if you don’t take it off i’ll do it for you.”

a cute yet sexy playfulness in his tone made yugyeom choose to comply and remove said piece of clothing without further words.

“now kiss me like you want me to kiss you,” he said with a cheesy wiggle of his eyebrows that made the younger roll his eyes and push him down onto the couch.

“are you sure you want me to do that?” he asked, copying his tone rather well.

jinyeong nodded and he didn’t regret it when the shirtless teen violently pressed his lips against his own. he didn’t regret it when he got on top of him, his hands pressing rather hard into his milky skin creating red hand prints all over his torso. he didn’t regret it when he started biting his lips, almost bruising with the force. he didn’t regret it when he moved from his mouth down his jawline, placing soft butterfly kisses on the sensitive skin until he made it up to his ear. he didn’t regret it when sweet words were whispered into his ear. he didn’t regret it when he started nibbling on his earlobe, making him moan quietly. but he definitely regretted it when he pulled away with a proud look on his face, as if it was his main goal in life to make jinyeong moan just once.

“wh..why’d you stop?” jinyeong asked, sitting up.

yugyeom stood up, “i have to pee,” he said before walking away.

* * *

 

the next couple of days consisted of many situations where things were getting a tad bit heated, some yugyeom on the receiving end and some in which the younger was in control, but up until wednesday, they stopped before pants were removed because yugyeom, “had to pee,” or, “was hungry,” and once, “forgot to brush his teeth.” on wednesday, jinyeong was beginning to get a little impatient. they were in bed and it was late. they had pushed their beds together in the middle of the room so that there would be more room for the two of them to sleep together and much to the older’s distaste, sleeping is all they did. when things got heated again, this time to the point that jinyeong could feel him hardening on top of him, yugyeom stopped.

“hyung, i’m hungry,” he whispered as he started to sit up.

“yugyeom-ah, you’re horny,” he replied very matter-of-factly.

“what are you talking about?” the younger asked, the blanket bundled up in front of his crotch.

“you told me sunday night that you were okay with having sex, you showed me that you wanted it, and now every time we get close you run off,” he sat up, slightly irritated with his boyfriend, “do you or do you not want to have sex with me? you’re beginning to act like you really don’t want to, like you just want to kiss and cuddle and i’m totally fine with that if you’re not ready for sex, but please let me know so i can stop getting my hopes up.”

yugyeom bit his lip and looked down, playing with the blanket, “i want to, but…” his words trailed off and jinyeong finished them for him.

“you’re scared?” the younger nodded without looking up.

“you know that i would be as careful as possible with you if you decided that you wanted to. i’m not gonna be rough, even if sometimes when we make out it gets a little rough. this is something that should be done with love, yugyeom-ah, not lust,” he crawled over to him and took his face in his hands so that he could see the slight frown on the younger’s face, “there’s nothing to be afraid of, trust me. it’s going to hurt in the beginning, but i’ll go slow, i’ll let you tell me when to stop, when to go, when to speed up, when to slow down. the first time isn’t gonna be the best, but it’ll definitely be the most meaningful.”

he let go and sat with his legs criss-crossed on the bed with a sigh, “if you don’t want to do it, it’s okay. i just wanted you to know that if you do, you’re in good hands.”

yugyeom leant forward and placed a soft kiss on jinyeong’s lips before laying down, his head actually on a pillow for once rather than jinyeong's chest and back facing jinyeong.

“i’m not trying to be pushy, yugyeom-ah,” he shook his shoulder lightly, “are you mad at me?”

the younger shook his head no into the pillow and covered his head with the blankets before saying, “i don’t want to have sex right now, but i’m really uncomfortable from talking about it and i was already… in the mood… and i would feel bad if i just left right now. so i’m going to just lay here until...it...goes away.”

jinyeong laughed, “we don’t have to start with sex, you know.”

yugyeom’s eyes peaked out from the blankets, “we don’t?”

“no, of course not. i can just…” he leaned over to whisper in his ear, “pleasure you.”

yugyeom almost hit the older in the face with how quickly he pulled the blanket back over his head, “do you have to be able to see my face?”

the other chuckled, “well, it’s no fun for me if i can’t see the pleasure i’m giving you. you wouldn’t want to be the only one having fun, would you?”

the younger was quiet for a second before he said, just barely above a whisper, “maybe.”

jinyeong disregarded what he said and reached under the blanket, letting his fingers walk down his flat stomach until they reached the waistband of his boxers(neither of them were wearing pants because it was a hot summer night and somewhere during the week the AC broke). the younger let out a small squeak and pulled the blanket away from his face for a moment to see the amused look on his boyfriend’s face. he bit his lip longingly as he felt the fingers slide down to his member underneath his underwear. yugyeom was a rather conservative guy, so jinyeong had never actually seen him without clothes and was lucky to have seen him without a shirt before. he wasn’t sure what to expect out of him sexually, but from what he could feel, it was going to be nice.

he was thick, so much so that he had jinyeong smiling just from wrapping a couple of fingers around the base. he began to get more excited as he slowly brought those fingers up, adding more to the bottom the higher he went. he was surprised at the length, but made no comments as he stroked the smooth, sensitive skin. yugyeom bit his lip as he stared up at jinyeong, his face reddening with embarrassment. he finally started reacting more when the elder sped up, panting a bit as he gripped the blanket tight. when he felt his boxers being removed for better access, the warm air suddenly felt cold against his skin and he clenched his eyes shut, the hand on his dick moving even faster now. while his eyes were closed, jinyeong licked his lips and scooted back in the bed until he could easily let his mouth take over. the second that his lips touched the tip of the younger’s member, getting precum on his lips, yugyeom flung the blanket over his head and jinyeong stopped. he reached up and pulled the blanket away from the blonde, throwing it onto the floor.

“i said i’d do what you want, but you have to do what i want, too,” jinyeong said, his gaze never leaving the younger.

“but hyung--” he was cut off by his own moan as jinyeong engulfed his member in his warm mouth.

the younger’s face was red as he felt him narrowing his cheeks out so that the skin was sliding against it. he moaned as he felt his tongue begin to trace little patterns on his cock and grabbed his hair when he felt the tip hit the back of his throat. he could hear him gagging a bit, but the feeling was nothing short of heaven and he wanted more. jinyeong complied so long as he could watch him throwing his head back when he thrusted into his mouth. his chest rising and falling so rapidly, he knew he would come soon. he could hear his moans, oh those moans, that made him decide that this was definitely a good idea. but soon, he felt like he really might gag if he kept thrusting like that, so he held his hips down and started bobbing his head, working magic with his mouth until he heard those words that he knew would come soon.

“hyung, i’m gonna - hnnng - i’m gonna come!”

he released his member from his mouth, letting the cold air hit it and taking one look at how it twitched with how badly he needed to come before he started pumping it with his hand again, letting him catch his breath for just a moment before placing his mouth on it again just in time to catch every little bit of cum that he released. yugyeom was breathing heavily, his dick now falling limp after being licked clean. jinyeong wiped his mouth with his arm and climbed on top of him, getting one last look at that extremely sexy flustered face he wore the entire time and smiled at him, receiving a tired smile in return.

“how was it?” the older asked before placing butterfly kisses all over his breathless boyfriend’s sweaty neck.

“i don’t think i’ve ever experienced anything that amazing in my life,” he replied through breaths as he stared up at the ceiling, “how was i?”

jinyeong brought his mouth up to his ear and whispered, “big,” before he sat up to continue, his hands on the other’s chest as he sat just above his crotch, “and your reactions turned me on so much. i’m sure you’re tired, so i won’t even ask you to do anything to me, but,” he kissed him quickly yet passionately, “i’m gonna go take a cold shower so i don’t make a mess of our sheets in the middle of the night.”

* * *

 

jinyeong woke up the next morning to soft lips on his own. he opened his eyes, not awake enough to see clearly just yet but he could make out the blonde hair and round face above him. he smiled as he rubbed his eyes and the younger placed another gentle kiss on the milky white skin of his cute, chubby cheek before he rested his body on his boyfriend's

"i never thought i'd ever be woken up by you of all people kissing me" ,” the older said, a sexy roughness in his voice that turned cute when yugyeom realized the blush on his cheeks.

his hands were rested on his bare chest and his chin on his hands as he looked at him lovingly, “i never would have imagined getting the urge to kiss you because of how nice you look when you’re sleeping,” he replied.

jinyeong covered his face as he let his head sink further into the pillow, “i feel like this is a really cheesy dream, but the dream i just woke up from was definitely not reality,” he sat up, forcing the younger to do the same, “it was more like a nightmare that i have no idea why i thought of.”

"what was it about, hyung?" yugyeom asked, suddenly worried by the sad look on his face.

"it's..." he shook his head and rubbed his eyes again, "it's nothing," he said with a sigh before plastering on an all too fake smile.

yugyeom pouted before leaning forward and kissing him sweetly, “it doesn’t look like it’s nothing. what happened in your dream?”

"we told my parents that we were together," he started, looking down with a hand on his neck as if he were in pain, "they were okay with it at first, thought it was a little hard to believe, but they were okay with it. after dinner, though, my dad pulled me away for a little talk. he said he didn't trust you, said he thought you were cheating on me, said he thought you didn't really have any feelings for me. he thought you just felt bad for me because you know it hurts not being able to be with the person you like so you just went along with it but you were with someone else..."

yugyeom stopped him, placing his hands on his shoulders so that he would look at him, “you know that what he said in your dream isn’t how it actually is in reality, right? i mean, you don’t think i would have dated you for five months and be seriously considering letting you take my virginity if i didn’t love you, do you?”

he looked hurt just from knowing that his mind had even thought it up, remembering back to the first time that he told the older that he loved him. they had been together for three months and jinyeong had told him before that he loved him, never expecting to hear it back but only wanting it to be known, but that day he hadn’t said it once. that day, before they showered after practice, yugyeom pulled him away from him and told him that he was absolutely sure that mark was 100% out of his mind and that he was in love with jinyeong. that night they almost made love for the first time, but didn’t want to go that far just yet, especially with the others in the dorm, so they slept in their own beds with smiles on their faces. thinking that jinyeong had actually come up with the idea in his mind two months after that night simply hurt his fragile heart.

“yugyeom, no, of course not, that’s why i said it was a nightmare,” he replied, noting the pain in his face, "that wasn’t even the worst part, though,” he added, dropping his sight down to the bed again.

“what was worse?” he asked, not sure if he actually wanted to know or not.

“well, it was when i saw you and mark kissing back here when we got back from my parents’ house. you were so into it, you didn’t even notice i was there until i was pulling him off of you because i saw him trying to undo your pants…” he said quietly.

yugyeom was at a loss of words. he wanted to make sure that his lover knew that there was absolutely no possibility of anything in that dream being true.

“hyung.”

“hm?” he hummed in response, still not looking up to meet his eyes.

“i made my decision.”

he looked up, kind of confused, “your decision?”

“i want to make love to you,” he replied with a very serious face.

“but i thought you didn’t want to have sex just yet? is this because of the dream, you just want to pr-”

“i don’t want to have sex. sex is with lust. i want to make love to you.”

“yugyeom, if you’re not ready, i-”

“i will make love to you today.”

“but if you’re not-” he was cut off this time, not by words but by a kiss.

a very passionate, sensual yet loving kiss. a type of kiss that jinyeong had never been on the receiving end of. a type of kiss that yugyeom learned from jinyeong. a type of kiss that proved to him that he was serious, more so than any words possibly could. the younger slowly laid him back, not breaking the kiss for the longest time. there was just so much… feeling, so much power in the simple lip lock. feeling how their lips fit together perfectly, loving each others’ tastes, it all just felt so right. when yugyeom finally pulled away to breathe, he dropped his forehead onto jinyeong’s and smiled.

the elder returned the smile and simply said, “okay,” as he stared into his sparkling crescent shaped eyes.yugyeom got out of the bed for a moment, eyeing jinyeong’s dresser kind of weirdly.

“yugyeom-ah, what are you doing?” he asked, chuckling as he took in the appearance of the blonde’s hair sticking out on one side while still completely flat on the other as he looked around the room in his blue boxers that had planets printed on it, a white undershirt, and one white sock.

“hyung, you have, like, lube and condoms, right?” he asked, scratching the back of his head and making more of his hair stick up.

jinyeong got up and walked up to him, using both of his hands to smooth down his hair before pulling his head down and kissing it, “of course i do, but how about you find your other sock or take that one off while i get it out for us? you look really adorably stupid and i’m not sure how one-socked, einstein-haired yugyeom can possibly get me in the mood,” he teased before walking over to his dresser.

yugyeom flushed a light shade of pink as he searched the bed for his missing sock. he found it tangled up somewhere in the mess of light blankets and tossed it in the hamper before pulling off the other sock and doing the same with it. jinyeong had already pulled the tube of lube along with a condom and set them on the corner of the makeshift large bed for easy access. still, though, he was rather hesitant about the whole situation. "are you sure you want to do this, yugyeom-ah?" he asked as he sat on the bed, his legs hanging off as if he wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to actually get in bed or not. yugyeom didn’t say anything in response. he simply walked up to him and leant down to kiss him, both of their eyes fluttering shut. the blonde’s hands rested on the older’s hips and before long he was pushing him farther onto the bed. his hands slowly slid up the warm skin of his back as he laid him down on the grey sheets with so much care, as if he were placing a sleeping baby in its crib, and broke the kiss. jinyeong looked up at him, not showing any emotion on his face as he was still kind of unsure about having sex with the younger, but yugyeom’s smile when his t-shirt was off and on the floor reminded him that this was his decision and it was definitely not just sex, it was lovemaking.

the taller climbed over him and kissed his lips quickly, but still with so much love, before he started trailing kisses up his jawline, just like how the older did to him the night before, until he reached his ear and whispered, “we have to play fair, don’t you think?”

and with that comment, he knew what would come next. the younger kissed down his neck, making his breath hitch as he traveled even lower until he reached his v-line leading down to the package that, though it was still covered by the thin fabric of his boxers, was clearly hardening already. jinyeong’s face flushed when he felt fingers underneath the waistband of his underwear and he looked down at yugyeom who was very hesitant yet clearly eager to continue. he was looking up at his face, then back down at the boxers that he could easily remove if he wanted and closed his eyes for a moment as if giving himself a mental pep-talk.

“yugyeom-ah, what’s wrong?” jinyeong asked, his cheeks tinted pink.

“it’s nothing,” he replied with a smile and started to pull the boxers down on one side, but stopped again, “hyung, if it’s not good just say so and i’ll stop, okay?” he added and bit his lip nervously.

jinyeong chuckled, “i’m sure it’ll be great, but i’ll tell you when to stop so i don’t go over before we really start, okay?”

yugyeom bit his lip again, looking down at the boxers as he pulled them down painfully slow, face flushing when jinyeong’s lengthy member came into view. when the boxers were fully off, jinyeong felt exposed but didn’t mind because of who was seeing him. yugyeom turned around to toss the boxers on the floor, aiming somewhere near his t-shirt, but when he turned back there was something different about his face. jinyeong noticed the sudden confidence that showed in the way his eyes narrowed at him, the sudden arousal in the way that he came back, too quick, and gripped his cock immediately, and he liked it. he liked it even more when his tongue touched the head of his dick and his eyes opened wide, but not as wide as his mouth when he let out a moan at the touch.

yugyeom had a mission; to make jinyeong feel as amazing as he had the night before. he slid his mouth down slowly, jinyeong letting out a long breath as he watched, even though the other’s eyes were closed.

yugyeom was completely focused on his mission and didn’t want any distractions.

he started to bob his head, slowly at first as he tried to recall exactly what jinyeong was doing that felt so good. when he remembered he sped up, hollowing out his cheeks and kind of wrapping his tongue around what he could, but it was too thick for it to go very far. jinyeong could tell that he really wanted him to enjoy this, and boy was he succeeding. the younger opened his eyes for a moment to look up and see if his face was as expressive as the sounds he was emitting that made yugyeom want to keep going and it was. he couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to bite his lip or leave his mouth agape as the sexy moans escaped his throat, his head thrown back in pleasure. yugyeom was surprised when jinyeong’s hips bucked, shoving his dick even farther into his mouth, and it seemed the latter hadn’t meant to do it either when he let out a small, “sorry,” and clenched the sheets in his fists. yugyeom smiled up at him with his eyes just as jinyeong looked down at him with half lidded eyes.

“yugyeom, yugyeom, stop. i can’t. stop, please, oh, yugyeom~” jinyeong cried out between pants.

when the younger heard his name called, he thought of it as a good sign, but then he was being told to stop and it kind of confused him. “did i do something wrong?”

he asked immediately after he took his mouth off of his hard cock.

“no, no, no, not at all,” he stopped for a moment to catch his breath and continued, “that was amazing, like too amazing, and i don’t want to come just yet, i want to wait until you’re ready, too.”

yugyeom had a little unreadable smirk as he protested, “but hyung, i thought of so many other ways i could use my tongue that i’m sure would feel amazing,” he brought a hand over to the other’s member and slid a finger slowly up and down it, making jinyeong bite his lip scarily hard and continued, “i want to make the man i love feel great.”

“yugyeom-ah, no, oh my god stop teasing me and just-- no, no, no, you know what this is enough.”

yugyeom’s finger stopped at the tip, “hm?” he asked, an innocent look that just made jinyeong want to kiss him placed upon his face.

jinyeong couldn’t take it anymore and reached up, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him down on top of him. he took the younger’s surprised face in his hands and kissed him, tongue and all, until he was so dazed that he was able to flip them over, taking over the position of what they called, “topping,” which they both wanted to do. his kiss was rough, but his touch gentle as he let his hands wander the younger’s torso. he wanted him, oh he wanted him, but the last thing he would possibly want to do is get rough with him his first time. he was a virgin, his hole was tight and untouched and he would be very sensitive, he had to keep this in mind.

more importantly, this was lovemaking, not just sex. he didn’t want to give him the idea that he didn’t care as much as he did, he wanted to show him exactly how much he cared for and loved him. he softened the kiss, their breaths were still uneven but a new, much welcomed emotion took over the whole situation. love. strong love. undefinable love. jinyeong let his tongue slide into the other’s mouth so smoothly as he slid yugyeom’s boxers down. he broke the kiss, but not for long, to fully remove the younger’s planet printed shorts and toss them on the floor by his t-shirt, and went back to the pink lips that he craved so badly for so long, kneeling with his knees on either side of his legs now so that he would have access to yugyeom’s lower regions. as soon as he gripped his member, the younger moaned into jinyeong’s mouth. after he pumped him for a few minutes he broke the kiss and started nibbling on his collar bones gently.

 _those collar bones_. they were one of the two things that made him want him most, aside from the fact that he was him. the light that came through the closed curtains that morning hit his sweaty collar bones perfectly, letting them glisten. jinyeong sat up a bit and smiled at him, receiving a loving smile in return as he traced those perfect collar bones that sometimes shone too well, making people assume that he might just be too thin. his little bit of a tummy that wasn’t quite sculpted into a six pack wasn’t fat, but definitely wasn’t too thin. then there was that thin happy trail that jinyeong normally didn’t find attractive, but for some reason on yugyeom specifically the line of hair leading from his cute little belly button downwards was just plain sexy.

that wasn’t the best part, though. yugyeom had wonderful, thick, muscular thighs. they were hairy, he was an 18 year old guy after all, but the skin was so smooth. jinyeong slid a finger down the younger’s torso, going down his happy trail but swerving past his package and over to his thighs. he never broke eye contact with him as he leant down to kiss the milky skin of his inner thighs, kneeling in between his legs for the best access. yugyeom’s face flushed when his lips touched the sensitive skin that had never been touched for any purpose besides warming his own hands before. jinyeong could see the muscles in his thighs tense up at the touch and only found that more exciting when he heard yugyeom’s breath hitch as he trailed his kisses up his thigh so that he could get to his member, but he was soon stopped.

“hyung, no, wait!” he called out, scaring jinyeong with the sudden protest.

“you don’t want it?” he asked, “didn’t you say you wanted things to be equal with this?”

“you did that for me last night, though. we wouldn’t be even if i got the same pleasure twice,” he pointed out, cheeks a bright shade of pink as he remembered that amazing feeling from the night before.

jinyeong nodded in understanding, “so you want to start the real stuff now?” he asked, a slight blush on his face.

yugyeom bit his lip, his own face still flushed, “you’re gonna be gentle, right?”

jinyeong leant down and kissed him softly, “of course i will,” he said, lovingness clear in his voice.

suddenly the two of them got shy. it was their first time doing this and they wanted to do it right. jinyeong knew that he would be really tight, and he also knew that his own package wasn’t very small so it would probably hurt a lot at first. he reached over to the corner of the bed and took the bottle of lube and the condom and set it next to them since they would need them soon. the older smiled with so much care in his eyes at the younger as he went back to kissing him, one hand gently laid on his cheek with his other lowered down to his entrance. he wanted to keep him distracted as much as possible until the actual pleasure started, so he deepened the kiss as he slowly began to slide the first finger inside. yugyeom let out a high pitched squeak into jinyeong’s mouth and he left his finger as it was for a moment, letting him get used to it. jinyeong was beginning to worry, he only had one finger half-way in and he was already in pain. the older broke the kiss for a moment and looked down at him, worried by the grimace on his face.

“yugyeom-ah, we shouldn’t do this right now, it’s gonna hurt you too much,” he said as he pulled his finger out.

“hyung, just put lube on your fingers and keep going,” he pleaded as he looked up at him, trying to be brave.

“but i don’t want to hurt you,” he tried to reason.

“hyung, we won’t have another chance to make love again for a long time and even if we wait it’s still going to hurt just as much,” the younger bit his lip as he looked up at him, “either way, the pain is going to be worth it in the end, right?” a soft smile appeared on the younger’s face.

jinyeong sighed in defeat, “if you shed a single tear, i’m stopping.”

yugyeom chuckled lightly, “i won’t, and if i do just wipe it away like you always do.” jinyeong smiled.

he does wipe his tears a lot, doesn’t he? he pressed a gentle kiss on the younger’s smiling lips before grabbing the lube, rubbing the cold, slippery substance on his fingers.

“it’s cold, just a warning.”

yugyeom nodded in response, but still let out a gasp at the coldness touching his sensitive hole. jinyeong laughed and he did too, until his finger got a little deeper. it didn’t hurt as badly as it did before since the lubricant was helping his finger get in there, but it did hurt. jinyeong had the hand that wasn’t stretching him up touching his face lightly and reassuringly. he looked guilty as he slid the other finger in just barely and yugyeom’s eyes clenched shut.

“i’m sorry..” he whispered as he watched the blonde beneath him open his eyes back up.

“keep going,” he insisted.

jinyeong kissed him, sweet and long, as he pushed the second finger in a bit more. he could feel yugyeom’s lips quivering a bit and gently tugged on his bottom lip with his teeth, making him open his eyes.

“if it’s too much, tell me to stop.”

“go deeper.”

“but yugyeom-ah, you’re in p-”

“hyung, i want you inside of me,” he said quietly but clearly, shutting jinyeong up immediately, “it hurts but i’m really eager. get me ready faster, hyung, so we can… so we can be that close, that intimate.”

jinyeong’s words were caught in his throat. even after five months, he never would have imagined that he and yugyeom would get this far together. after a moment of opening and closing his mouth to reply but not knowing what to say, he simply complied and pushed his fingers deeper. before long, he was spreading them inside of him. yugyeom was gritting his teeth as jinyeong nibbled on his earlobe, whispering things like, “it won’t hurt later,” “i can’t wait to make you feel great,” “i love you more than you could possibly think,” “please don’t cry,” and, “i promise to never hurt you as much as this again. i’m so sorry yugyeommie.”

when he pulled his fingers out, yugyeom gasped as if he had been without air for the past few minutes. jinyeong took the condom and ripped open the packaging.

“are you sure you’re ready for this? you seemed really uncomfortable the whole time,” he said as he pulled it out.

“i’m ready,” he said, trying to appear brave again, even though he looked rather scared as he tried to move around a bit, “what position am i supposed to be in?” he asked, “on my knees? just laying down? how’s this supposed to work?”

his confusion made jinyeong smile as he slid the condom on. he was so cute, even if he was naked and had a raging boner in plain sight. yugyeom was the type of person that could be painfully cute in middle of sex and that was one of the many things the older loved about him, his cuteness.

“just lay on your back and put your legs up,” he said with a chuckle.

the younger did as he was told, but not quite in the way that he meant it. he laid on his back and but his legs straight up in the air together. jinyeong laughed as he pulled his legs apart and peaked through at him, making him laugh as well. jinyeong bent his knees for him while whistling very slowly until his feet hit the mattress and he clicked his tongue. they both chuckled again, enjoying the sound of each others’ laughter and jinyeong lowered his top half down to kiss him again, first on his sweaty forehead, each of his pink cheeks, his cute nose, and finally his savory lips. when he broke the kiss, he rubbed a bunch of lube on his member so that it would be as painless as possible for the blonde.

he held himself above him a bit as he scooted back a bit so that he could ready himself at his entrance. he asked if he was ready, not verbally but with his eyes. yugyeom understood and nodded, staring up at him with so much trust in his eyes as he felt the tip of jinyeong’s thick dick slowly push into him. he let out a shaky breath as he started to fill him and jinyeong stopped, letting him adjust.

“just tell me when to keep going. this is all up to you, yugyeom-ah, i don’t want to hurt you,” he said quietly.

yugyeom nodded and closed his eyes and took grip of the sheets.

“keep going,” he said, looking up at him again.

he was so clearly in pain, yet he smiled at him to assure him that this was what he wanted. jinyeong pushed in a little bit more, maybe too much more by the screech of pain the younger let out that made him stop immediately.

“i’m sorry, yugyeom-ah,” he said, the guilt coming back as he put the love of his life in so much pain.

yugyeom shook his head as he gulped and responded, “don’t be sorry, hyung, i want this.”

the older sighed, but tried to be as still as possible until he gave him an okay to move again. when he did, he went in further and yugyeom surprisingly didn’t tell him to stop again. he slowly pushed until his cock was completely inside of yugyeom, then stopped for a moment to take in the feeling, both emotional and physical, of being inside yugyeom. they were as close as physically possible and felt even closer emotionally than ever before. as he realized that he was finally - after knowing that he loved him for a year but possibly loving him longer without his own knowledge - making love to him. jinyeong kissed him with more passion than ever before and pulled away before starting up his slow thrusts.

yugyeom stared up at him, his mouth open as he brought his hands up to jinyeong’s back. his nails only gently scratching the soft skin. jinyeong would have already been in heaven with the feeling of his dick being in such a tight, warm place, but yugyeom was still in pain so he kept it slow, kissing him apologetically every few thrusts until yugyeom let out a moan of pleasure. a certain moan that jinyeong just loved to hear and was dying to hear again. then, yugyeom moaned out the word, “faster~” and the older couldn’t help but to do as he was told. they were finally both enjoying it.

jinyeong kissed him, probably more sloppy than he ever had before, but neither of them cared. yugyeom was clawing at his back, which didn’t hurt too badly because of both the euphoric state he was was in and the fact that his nails were short, while their lips were connected, and jinyeong was inside of him, hitting that sweet spot that just sent him straight to heaven. he would moan the word, “hyung,” into jinyeong’s mouth at first, but soon enough he was calling his name, looking straight into his gorgeous brown orbs as their faces both contorted with pleasure and need but nothing short of love in their eyes. their hot breaths hit each others’ faces as they made sweet love, jinyeong breathing out small loving words, things that probably meant more to him than to yugyeom but he didn’t care. the ecstasy rushed through his veins as his member pulled in and out of yugyeom’s loosening hole, the warm muscles only stretched enough to fit his dick with no extra space. the feeling was something that he assumed felt much better than being inside of any girl ever could be, and knowing that he was doing this with yugyeom, giving yugyeom the same pleasure that he himself felt was enough to bring him over the edge.

with no words, he reached in between them and started pumping yugyeom’s long, thick cock as his thrusts got faster. he could tell by the pleading look on his face that he was just as close as jinyeong, and he wanted them to orgasm together. he matched the pumps of his hand with the thrusts of his hips and they both let out loud moans at the same time as the came, yugyeom releasing his seed all over both of their stomachs and jinyeong inside of the condom he wore. tired and out of breath, the dark haired male pulled out and laid on him, not caring about the semen on their stomachs(it’s not like they couldn’t shower, anyway), and kissed him just as passionately as he had when he was inside of him. their chests rose and fell at uneven speeds as jinyeong laid his forehead on yugyeom’s, smiling like he did the night that the younger first told him that he loved him. it was so unreal to him that he had just made love to yugyeom, even if he was looking right into the smiling, worn eyes of the younger who was naked and covered in cum beneath him. after a few minutes of just soaking in the beauty that was yugyeom’s post-sex face, jinyeong finally spoke.

“that was amazing.”

yugyeom nodded, “hyung, take a shower with me, we’re dirty now. i’ll wash your back,” and with that comment, his eyes widened and his hands came up to his mouth, “hyung, did i hurt your back?? i scratched at it really hard, are you okay?” he asked, bringing his hands up to his back again so that he could feel the welts caused by his nails.

jinyeong smiled, “i went through nothing pain-wise compared to you,” he kissed the younger’s nose before continuing, “will you be able to walk okay? and sit? it seemed like you were in a lot of pain…”

“well, you were too,” yugyeom added with a slight smile at the confusion on the older’s face, “the whole time i was in pain, you were in pain. maybe not in your ass, but in your heart, your mind. i could see it on your face,” he sighed as he brought one of his hands from jinyeong’s back to his face and rested it on his smooth cheek, “we were even just like i wanted. thank you, hyung.”

jinyeong got a little flustered and scoffed, “what are you thanking me for?”

“well for one you did all of the work,” he said with a chuckle.

“i can’t just make the one going through so much pain do it all,” he said with a smile.

“and another thing, you just gave me the best time of my life, despite the pain in the beginning. it was really great, hyung. i don’t think i’ve ever felt anything so… amazing.”

“it’s because you did it with someone you love,” jinyeong said as he gazed down at him, sliding his bangs that were sticking to his forehead with sweat away and kissing him softly, “i love you, yugyeom, more than you could possibly imagine.”

“i wouldn’t have done this if i didn’t love you too jinyeongie. now, how about that shower? it’s getting sticky and uncomfortable…” jinyeong smiled as he got up and helped the soiled blonde up too.

“just no shower sex, okay?” yugyeom requested on their way to the bathroom.

“with the way you’re walking, i’d say no more sex until our next week off, which god knows when that’ll be,” jinyeong joked in response.

* * *

* * *

 


End file.
